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| So I've kinda grown tired of this place. I think it's time for some new digs. Wanna see the new me??
Go here.
Farewell, sweet xanga. You've served me well.
"So long. Farewell. Auf wiedersehen. Goodnight."
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| So Ike blows in this tease of a cold front - granting those of us who aren't surrounded by it's devastation and debris the peaceful breath of what feels like Fall. And from that I've become rather reflective. Doesn't really take all that much. But reflective I am nonetheless. It reminds me...
Of high school football games - the Friday night excitement.
Of coloring paper pumpkins orange and then hanging them on the fridge.
Of my husband enjoying a refreshing day of work outside.
Of late nights roaming around a dimly-lit Texas A&M campus.
Of driving out on a two-lane road to see friends and play all night.
That it's time to break out the light jackets and pretty scarves.
That, even though the weather will probably change next week, and that, even if Fall does come to stay for a little while, it only lasts a little while.
That seasons only last the season. And then you have to move on.
So this Fall, I'll breathe deep. Breathe peace. Breathe me.
"There are places I remember all my life, though some have changed. Some forever not for better. Some have gone, and some remain. All these places have their moments with lovers and friends I still can recall. Some are dead and some are living. In my life, I've loved them all.
But of all these friends and lovers, there is no one compared with you. And these memories lose their meaning when I think of love as something new. Though I'll know I'll never lose affection for people and things that went before - I know I'll often stop and think about them -- in my life, I love you more.
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| Friend, you changed my life. I don't think you knew it at the time, but you did. I had no clue how much so, but just recently I've begun to realize. I started crying over it this weekend - this long weekend. But then again, I cry all the time. There are memories I've long set free and not once attempted to retrieve - and somehow you've stuck around. I mean, for a minute there, I thought you were long gone, but... nope. You popped up again. With your art, your philosophy, your wisdom...
Friend, He taught me grace because of you. He taught me grace directly through you. I'm pretty sure you knew it at the time, because He taught you too. And five, no, six years later we are not the same. Praise God Almighty, we are not the same.
I hesitate to post, because your reaction concerns me. I think if you were to read this, you'd laugh. And then maybe say I'm dramatic. But that's okay, 'cause I am. And I'm glad that for a while you were my friend.
"Something brought you to my mind today...."
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| For those of you who don't enjoy the rantings or ravings (or a few expletives) of a frustrated former teacher... don't read.
They've been talking about giving teachers guns for a while now. This is nothing new. Especially when around every corner we turn, there's a lock-down here, a school shooting there... and no other school security than a metal detector or the campus police officer. I mean, the idea was bound to arise somewhere in the discussion of a solution.
I get emotional over just about anything. This is nothing new. But there are fewer things in life that make me more furious than the stupid STUPID decisions made concerning public education. Stupid....
Allowing teachers to carry guns in public schools is stupid. Just stupid! There are far FAR too many OBVIOUS risks involved. Accidental gunshot, kids getting ahold of the gun, teachers threatening their students... (Teach sixth grade, and TELL me it won't happen...) And all because the school board doesn't want to PAY for more SECURITY??? Stupid. STUPID!!! Why don't you take the SHIT load of money you pay for freakin' TAKS crap and USE it for something WORTH something...
I mean - GOOD GRIEF!! It's not like there aren't ENOUGH problems in education?? Oh no... let's add on top of ALL the crap that is required of teachers the awesome AWESOME added pressure of holding a FIREARM... GENIUS!!!
....... (exhale)
I just want so badly for the kids in this country to learn. To engage and grow and think.
So that maybe when they grow up they won't make stupid like we do.......
"...angry guns preach a gospel full of hate. Blood of the innocent on their hands...."
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| So I think something somewhere along the way took a little chunk of my heart. Or maybe I just grew up.
I've lost the feeling of unadulterated joy.
I was watching a bit of the Olympics tonight with David - ya know Phelps and his many medals... blah blah blah... Here's the deal. They started talking about Mr. Swimmer himself and how he ate enchiladas or some crap for dinner, and I'm like, why do I wanna hear about what this guy eats for dinner? So David goes, "Jillian, he's a gold medalist. He's up to break the world record..." And I roll my eyes and think, so....?
So? SO??? I mean, the guy has worked his whole freakin' life to accomplish one goal - and a pretty lofty goal at that --- and he's pretty much bound to accomplish that! Why wouldn't I think that's amazing?? Where's my sense of wonder and amazement at successes like these...??
I mean, the thing is, I know the answer to my own question. I'm tired of everywhere I turn finding men making much of men. Making people out to be way more than they are --- or even making people out to be what they actually are. Maybe I'm just tired of people getting so much glory. Yes, swimming really really swiftly and consequently swimming faster than almost everyone in the world is pretty dang cool. And I've sure as hell never worked so hard at something -- for something -- in my entire life. But that guy is still a regular ol' kid. Younger than David even. I'm sure he farts and burps like my 24-year-old husband does. And I'm sure his poo stinks just like every other guy's I know.
I don't know... that's all the rant I got in me for now. I'm so sleepy, yet I keep myself up to watch re-runs of hit shows from the '90's and late 2000's....
I'm cool.
"Now in the morning I sleep alone. Sweep the streets I used to own."
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